Ouueee do yall have a good one. Doom doom doooommmmmm…. The surgery. Here I am, typing with one hand. And let me tell ya, that surgery humbled me real fast. Even a badass mf has moments. I’m passionate about being real, so these blogs are going to show exactly how my words look with one hand, I’m not going to hide it. I’m fighting cancer and I’m going to fight dirty!
I’m so grateful for the people who showed up, whether it be my grandparents watching our dogs, our friends taking back the infamous frog, or my aunt’s Crumbly cookie incident. I will give back. I had a nice farewell on my snowboard trials, doing things I love the most and a lot of sweet time with my people. My family even held a little get together with bbq and my favorite people. I had my last steak, a bittersweet final hurrah. Despite the lightheartedness of everything, my life was about to be transformed in a way, and the enormity of it all hit me. In these moments, a true understanding that love and the people who hold you close are truly all that matter. And I did what any rational person facing major surgery would do: I fake-tanned the night before. Lastly, I’d have a nice tan on my palette.
March 4th was a reminder of the stakes, the moments I was about to wage not just for myself, but for my family too. We arrived and quickly realized I had forgotten my ID. Ironically, checking in for a life-altering surgery felt almost routine. Despite the seriousness of the situation, a strange sense of togetherness emerged. Sure, my life was about to take a turn, but everyone there was in the same boat. It was comforting knowing my family had people in their boat too, family members facing similar procedures. It was a sad reflection of how many people needed surgery, like a line for a rollercoaster. Yet, there was a strange comfort in knowing we weren’t alone.
Going to the official waiting room all I could think of was my mom’s friend’s words, a hopeful mantra: “when I’m done, the cancer will be gone.” When we were called a strange reminiscent of the slow-motion moment in Monsters Inc. The doctors who would be in the OR took a moment to introduce themselves, which I appreciated. The nurse was super cool which made all the difference. Unfortunately, Mother Nature seems to call in the most untimely times and this was another of those…the nurse hooked me up, but I flashed everybody leaving to put my “pantyhose diaper” on which I thought was terrible. There was a lot of lore…I was excited, not scared and trying to have some fun. It was emotional though in a way for my family’s sake.
The goodbye with my family was difficult. Despite the hope of being cancer-free, the raw emotions were undeniable. It felt almost like all our family’s struggles and love coming together, our bond was comforting. It broke my heart to see my family cry. The tears rolled down my face, their beautiful ones too. The kind doctor wheeled me away, we played bumper cars, she said. It was fun. After the trek we made it to the or and OIIEEE it was CHILLY!! Everyone was so awesome and their care put myself at ease for my family sakes, knowing I was in careful hands. Bam they took me out unexpectedly, man they always win. I just remember this nasty taste from this spray, talking to them, every single person was lovely and my ears ringing and boom. I honestly don’t even think I got to the bridge of cruel summer before I was cooked. They played Taylor swift for me the whole surgery – from sources. It’s things like this that meant the world to me, jokes aside.
“Kammm you’re done.” Man I was so confused. Disoriented to say the least. I think I fell back asleep or maybe there was a gap in my memory? It was like in elementary school when you accidentally slept in and your mom was trying to wake you up and you pretended like you were productive when she checked in on you after 10 minutes but you were really sleeping. Then flash forward I remember like I remember I don’t even remember I just remember.. This was exactly what I just typed and I feel like it was a reflection of my pure feelings so I’m choosing to keep it in. Anyway, the next thing I remember is them telling me about an X-ray. Then I wake up talking about Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift? The nurse was awesome just totally vibing with me and maybe some anesthesia. Someone even braided my hair I realized days later as I wanted to thank them, it was so sweet. My original nurse came in to check on me. This is Mayo Clinic’s high standards for patient care, it’s clear why they are consistently recognized for excellence in medicine. The care isn’t the same everywhere, I am so lucky. Every single person gave me a pep talk, and truly took care of me. I asked her what time it was and she said 7, holy cow. I remember coming back to life because I wanted to know if my family was hanging in there, all I had to do was chill and they waited anxiously for hours! The amount of focus from the doctors and amazing people in the OR is incredible. Then I just remember woohooing down the hall, probably very loud and obnoxious. I then sat on a hammock moving me to a bed and I can only imagine how loud I was then. I was having fun and not feeling a thing! I was definitely flirting with the nurses unfortunately. I remember yelling mama thinking it was my mom and it turns out it was a nurse. Though I tried to keep it down, she hyped me up and told me I had no neighbors so it was a party. Despite my disorientation, the sight of tears streaming down my sister’s face hit me hard. The greeting from my mom, dad and grandma knowing I was okay was like a weight lifted off. Seeing the comfort my voice brought her made everything worthwhile, when she thought I wouldnt be able to talk. My dads loving face was a reminder of my amazing family. Then the team came in and I definitely said things I shouldn’t have. And looking back, I must have been a real handful. Luckily my nurse said I have one pass. In fact, one night I accidentally butt dialed a nurse and she saw my face and said “ You were so loud when you came in! But everyone surrounded you like a princess.” Perfectly Describing this era and how lucky I am.
Thanks for being here…
Kam
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