One day I was in the car with my family after I lost a basketball game. I always killed the vibe everytime I lost. My mom told a story about how my Grandpa Jim made everything alright for everyone despite having his life taken away from him. My Grandpa Jim passed away from Glioblastoma brain cancer almost 12 years ago. Because of that, I always think of him when life gets tough. You just wonder why some things just stick with you…
At the end of September 2023, I went to my normal 6-month dental check up. I would have never imagined it to save my life. Everything was as normal, I had no symptoms. My Dentist came around to do the normal final check and quickly noticed a bump in the back of my mouth. All I knew is my dentist told me I needed to get it checked out immediately because it could be something serious. Do yourself a favor and don’t look up answers, it’s not accounting for your situation.
A week later we met with an oral surgeon, she had told us we firstly need to rule out cancer. Cancer is a scary word. And yeah, let’s not sugarcoat it.. Getting the news that you may have cancer is more than scary. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by fear when things get tough. But in the midst of it we did all we could do, sending good energy out there and crossing our fingers for the best news possible. I feel like good vibes can get you anywhere. But besides all of this, there was this beautiful thing happening – it was a powerful reminder that even in the face of fear, positivity can be a guiding light. So, we got a needle biopsy. The nurse took all of my vitals and the pathologist came and numbed my mouth. Now, here’s the weird part: she mumbled something like, “Never seen anything like this,” which wasn’t exactly confidence-inspiring. Then, she was all, “Tell me if you can’t breathe, okay?”. She used a thin needle syringe to suction out a small amount of cells to examine how the cells move to find evidence of cancer. No pain, just a slight pinch from the numbing shot (if they even used one). 5 minutes later she gave us the results that it was a non-cancerous benign tumor called Pleomorphic Adenoma and I would just need to have it removed. Party time! Though, I felt off about this. Another big lesson: Be your own advocate for your health! We called to schedule surgery and were pleased that the office said my surgeon could remove the tumor and remove my wisdom teeth at the same time (which desperately needed to be taken out). Another big lesson I learned is to always ask to talk to the doctor. A couple weeks came around and I was pumped up! I had all my nutrition ready which consisted of applesauce squeezers, specifically the cinnamon ones. My sister is ready to take ugly videos of me and we walk in her office and she can’t remove this. Turns out, she couldn’t remove the party favor. The office had planned to do an abrasion of the tumor but she claimed it needed a full exorcism, and she wasn’t the exorcist for the job. Now, she claims she called about this, but all we got was a “surgery confirmed” call. Confusion reigned! Long story short, wisdom teeth did not get evicted that day and the tumor stayed put. We received a referral to a specialist – one who could handle the full-blown removal ceremony. And that, my friends, is how my biopsy became a lesson in trusting your gut (and getting second opinions)! I remember calling my Grandma and she said, “There’s a reason it didn’t happen” and while I couldn’t understand it then, she was totally right. Sometimes, life takes unexpected turns, and we have to trust that there’s a bigger plan in place, even when we can’t see it.
Well, we got an oral surgeon specializing in this. They said I needed to get an MRI. By this time it was December, after all those appointments, referrals, and phone marathons, here I was, ready to befriend a giant metal tube. The quickest I could get in was Christmas Eve and let me tell you, snagging an MRI right before Christmas wasn’t exactly merry and bright. But hey, gotta do what you gotta do. They sit you down on a stretcher looking thing, get you all comphy. Feeling like a royal potato wrapped in aluminum foil about the bake at this point. They put in earplugs and headphones because the machine is loud. They will play music for you, warning, it’s not the Airpod Max quality, it’s that scratchy station on your car but nonetheless Taylor Swift was serenading my ears. (Don’t be shy, ask for your boogie – they’re chill about it.) Then came the face mask, followed by a slow roll into the MRI machine (head-only for me). They handed me a squeezy thing to talk if needed, and things got weird. There’s weird noises and they kind of move you back and forth without warning. In my infinite wisdom, I decided to sing out a little tune. Big mistake. Turns out, impromptu is not appreciated. About 20 minutes to go they took me out to give me a contrast agent which is used to enhance the radiodensity of a targeted tissue so they can see it better. Let’s just say It wasn’t exactly a spa day. Plus, it was another lesson learned: follow the instructions, even if it means silencing your inner thoughts for a little while.
A couple weeks later we met with the surgeon. Turns out, the surgeon wasn’t impressed they did a needle biopsy and he wanted to do a punch biopsy. Confusion! A week later, I got that done. They numbed the mouth with local anesthetic, again, maybe a shot (which hurt the most), and it was super quick as he took the sample. I was really grateful for the nurse and the surgeon, they made me feel at home after all of this. The recovery from the punch biopsy was brutal, it’s just a hole inside your mouth that hurts really bad. I ate applesauce squeezers for a week. It was a dream to have a squeezer diet not gonna lie so it wasn’t bad at all. Anyways, they give you medication to help cope with the pain and you have this rinse that really tastes like the replica of medical gloves. I also sat in the freezing cold for like 30 minutes to get this because it was so busy at the pharmacy which is a sad reality. Well, they called about a week later and said they wanted an in-person appointment which was an eerie feeling because my doctor said he’d just call me with the results.
The day already started off like a sitcom blooper so something just wasn’t right off the bat. Then of course I ran late rolling out of bed a mess and having dried apple sauce on my shirt. Looking like a walking applesauce commercial! Not exactly my peak performance but, life goes on. While I was waiting I was peeling apple sauce on my shirt and was so mad that I looked like that. Anyways, while I was waiting the nurse that helped me last time gave me an eerie feeling, and it was just so eerie. Right before they called my name they were looking at all of my documents and it was just off. She called me back but asked if my parents were coming and they said they would wait, which was what kind of made me realize something just wasn’t right.
He broke the news. You have Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, a rare salivary gland cancer. Definitely not on the menu for a 19-year-old like me. I remember just looking at my mom in shock. All I could think is my mom doesn’t deserve this. I remember trying to snap myself out of this nightmare. Everything felt unreal. My worst fear was coming true. He said I’d definitely have to do surgery, get chemo-radiation and have a hole and wear a retainer for the rest of my life… not to mention the hole would make drinks and food go through your nose and give you a hollow sounding voice for the rest of my life. Everything made it seem like my life was over and everything kept getting worse and worse. It was funny because my mom kept emphasizing how she wanted the best doctors for me and just all of the lore in the room. She stayed strong for me even as her own world was cracking. That appointment was insane. But, one thing was clear: we needed a second opinion, and my mom wanted the best damn doctors in the world. Turns out the apple sauce on my shirt wasnt the biggest deal. I remember walking outside of the office and it was just a big beautiful cotton candy sunrise which is my favorite skys. I just looked at my mom and hugged her as she said “you got this girl”! My world felt like it had done a backflip, but perspective is key. People have it way rougher, and I had my Grandpa Jim in my corner, cheering me on. I just kept thinking of my Grandpa Jim and I knew he was my guardian angel watching over me. I was fired up to beat this shit for them. I felt like this was happening for a reason. I felt a sense of calm for some reason. There’s many emotions and questions. Looking back now that sunrise as we walked out of the dentist, it was Grandpa Jim giving me a big warm hug as a silent reassurance that things would be okay.
Thanks for joining me on this journey…
Kam
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